dear mau-mai...
i hope i am able to provide much insight into your fren' sane mind..
which will continue to snoop : for metaverses, glory or 'moments' of it..
the syd reality of it all : i did live a story of veronica mommy..
as a passive helpless : spectator..
den : i used to respect : elders..
i think : she knew 'better'..
money : and what it does with 'surname'..
became amply clear to me..
i remember teen veronica' mommy : being nice to me..
only 1nce : wen i took my dad' new car - santro...to make a joyride with her..
she was happy with the 'car' of 1999..santro version1 : originale..
the hallmark of new money : upper middkle klass india.
but a traditional lawyer familia : with south of delhi ..with surname of kewls.
i had no chance : or compete..
i was 'small' : in age, size and den - ego.
with global veronica : i was 'small' - in money, identity of 'indian'..
and 'india' being home of karela kurien/2 : literate of 'india' : security guards of dubai : who would give me an extra 'stare'...
to be roaming around with 'her'.
and den : after few years of 'compromise' ...
and somewhat - forced to act : father...
the same pattern : balded olded nobodies : running their mouth..
filling their gaping holes of ego : using their sons/daughters : as fodder
...that happening at google..
reminded me of the recursive nature of 'indi page 3 nihilism'..
which was running all functions of it..
karan bajwa : and his irrelevant balls .. hacking juniors : with logic of 'dominance'..his 'kids' : the dei betties and amit.
mitesh aggarwal : acting likey a sigma beech, to 'belong' by approval..
acting salvage and controlling for - his kids : engineers
and amit : my hero : acting likey the unkle who would hand keys to his car..
to teen veronica : who would live out rented riches..
while the new unkle makes 'nice' time with mommy veronica.
it was page 3 hyprocrisy : of the religion this generation sold out to play - ram teri ganga maili : as 'programmed' by bolly kewls..
white bois : do new..
indians : listen and makey : babies of middkle class.
i realized the real harm of brit bois : is to culture and 'approval' of nihilists..
who would sell every god : to play song dance at some wedding..
hoping 1 day : it is dere.
it is a pattern : which soved generational curses..
people realizing the results of ego : wen it is too late..
and dey have nothing to 'approve' of their choices : just the dependent 'kid'..which dey made out of bollywood 'dreams'.
so - maumau : long story short...
i dint want to make 'regrets'..
and that was my sacrifice with mommy veronica..
let her be : yet tell her what she could ve been : maybe was.
i hope the new generations : is much resistant to brit taquiyya of loosh harvesting : which makes us batteries of longing / lust / love of weird kinds.
take care : this is the last of us in 3d of it...coz we 'quantum' 🥰
further thoughts...
that was my 'impossible' in 2000...which did break me...
..that lead to my 1st - nde...and things like 'purpose' : became the hope of it : years to come - my place in my world - 0.
it had been few 25 years of living that life...
life dictated by - others....
religion : is just start of it : i ve miles to go. 🙂