Kids...

Kids...
this is the most weird part of my life path..
'happiness' : is different for all of us..
all that dna, lat long, religon, region, people, familia - habitus..

..defines our happiness.

for me : that has been the biggest psy/op...
ever since i was born : all years of it..
i have seen - fights..
different kinds of it..
the physicality of dem : kinda, dint matter..

it is a weird sort of life...
home : but houses : all of dem...
frens but enemies : for different levels of 'ugly'..

the condition is so deep ... that my happiness...became 'work'..

it is a cope of a different kind..
the impossible choices : frens familia and the laid down path..
defined 'impossible' for me..

work : seemed 'easy' : coz life was impossible.

those were wars : i deemed impossible..
cant change people's free will..
specially : if dey are 'superior'.

the weird part of it : can be somewhat defined as 'inertia'..

inertia of my mind/body : which defined my 0..
where i belong : or where i am 'headed'..

it somehow meant : that my 'home' defined carrying some part of that 0..
some shred of continuity : of past : a shred of 'identity'..

the missing link : a logical path ..which defined my future : from past..

i hate to admit it..
i think 'veronicas' : were that logical path..

why i wanted to have that 'link' from past to 'future'..
is something : which would be a puzzle for me..

the best i can explain it : is human mind's need for 'logic'..
it is organic : the mind..
the memories : fading away : or becoming 'numb'..is function of 'time'..

i have absoltely 0 regard for my past 0..
it defined the 'ugly' of my life..

the past : where i had no 'choices'..
coz the 'pretty' and 'old' : have a default veto on those..

this take : is rather logical..
i think people have an inertia of their relative 0..
and dey dont want to move : their love is 'inertia'.

I dont have that luxury : my 0 is bound by time..
some choices : which were not mine : due to body / and 3d aspects of it
...it requires 'sacrifise' of 'past'...all of it : regularly.

it became my 'happiness'..as i know it. 🙃