zee 'past'...
i am beginning to understand why of ur - behavior..
..it is the thing - of being the ancestral curse breaker...
and u missing ur boat with ur - purpose.
i never realized the depths of it - till now..
it means - u failed ur purpose..
or given up on it.
i took much time to claim my fathers' name and works..
coz i 'earned' it...
that kind of 'inner voice'..
is kinda - rarest thing to find..
rest is just - flow.
but - i understand the silence now..
it aint - illogical...
it is purposeful.
further thoughts...
falling in 1s own eyes...
is a feeling of 'hell'...
it never goes away...
and i think - it is start of it all - addictions and more of dem...via people / substances and noise. 🙈
i am doing some - 'compaction'...
it helps in - creating 'new'...
a reset of 'perspective'...
😇