all said and done...
...i dont really regret 1 bit...it is all for a bigger purpose..
..i found faith again..unshakeable faith.
it is not likey : i dint have it before..
but the moments : which tested my faith..were spaced by years..
i never really had any opportunity to test it..
...i think i was scared.
thriving 2 years inside..
and 3 years outside : with no clue of the darkness..
was god saving me.
i am sure there were more glorious plans after 'food poisoning' - failed..
it should not ve failed..
30 days of puking water..were a water fast which i dint want to take.
but 1 thing was clear : my home was a house : paid by me..
but not 'mine'...
it was a difficult decision to move out..
but now : not so much ..
feeling of 'home' : is something different..
i have not been home : for 30 years...
and now : it seems so weird alien..
getting used to it... 🙂
home.
further thoughts...
i dont think i ve been 'home' since my father passed away...
too much to do, too many people to cater too..
...those duties : were not mine...
it was hinduism.