the key to all : 0,0
//rehashing it for the completion of gestalt = #
0,0 : it is the feeling of betrayal..desperation..
why of it : takes away all the 'hope'...
i never liked much money : it created much complicated IT returns..
lazy that way : Rs 30K / Pm : was my peak consumption of it..
the more i earned : the more problems it created for middle intellect..
it is weird u know...
they compete on 'partners', cars, vacations, job, home - everything...
elders of family : people who belonged to last balding generations..
who had better shot at 'success' than next gens..
yet their success in their professional/personal lives : hollow spouses...dumb kids..with their absolutely narcissistic ways of 'superiority'..
amit kumar : was that typical guy..
being a director at google : wasnt enough...
if anything younger : hold that damm L6 rank...
..u can be sure that the bihaari is going to have problems with it..
and there was his fren - sharma of pathetic luser kinds..
who wanted to win 'personal' battle of life...
it wasnt money : i gifted it away when dey needed it..
it was the 'identity' : extra money and my 0 care for it..
which never changed.
0,0 is that feeling : despair desperation, 0 hope
the logic of it all : was 'value'.
these people's lives : frens and familia : had 0 value in mine..
their time : cheap
their value : flexible
their identity : absolute garbage
their respect : 0
my 'time' created 'value'.
feeling those created circumstances : was wasting time.
thats 0,0 -> 0,1 : transition : a choice..
past : needs to be dealt with.
'How' : is a choice.
strategy was needed : a hard choice : i am going to burn this bridge .
thats transitition from 0,1 -> 1,1
skills : thats what got me dere...
skills would get me out of it...
problems was : my profession was blocked..
i was labelled : lose, characterless and lots of things : which i dont know..
it had trust of brand of 'google' : endorsed by frustrated jealous family/frens.
who wanted to stick to my life : to feel better with 'association'..
the name : ashish tanwar : opened doors for dem : made frens for dem
keeping me in cockroach jar : their hope for fame and money in future..
kinda playing papa to hole cockroach jar.
3 years : were testing those bonds : use of dem..
no kid : would succeed in similar jar ... it is their kids and others..who would repeat this pattern : sucking away on skilled : losing their time in gossip.
thats page 3 life of indian middle klass.
losing dem : in certainity and future...was slow yet needed.
i had a 'why' : 2,1 of it...
and now : all this bleh blah : with a 'religon' of kewl kinds for 0s...
thats 2,2 of it...
their worst nightmare.
thats the personal journey of 0,0 -> 2,2..
it is slow : but its sure
and its rewarding : its permanant.
further thoughts...
i do have a choice : return to piglet jar : and fight with elderly pigs with 'values' and 'constraints' of 'hindu-ism'...
but it is wasting time : not creating 'new' or value..
coz when u compete : your time become equal to your opponent..
value of it : become comparable.
i will grandfather them all : but as entertainment /leisure.
absolutely helpless : thats how you tell peeps their 'aukaat'.