sweets mommies...
it is not like i dont know it...
i know it too well..
the ugliness of it..
and now : my cruelty of dealing with it..
global veronica : after years of it...told me something 'innocent'..
she felt i was a 'deer' 😂
she was being honest.🩷
i realized : it must ve been the same for u...
it seems deceptive : i dont intend it..
it is just knowing : hurting you would come back to me.
when u 'turned'...i could 'sense' it..
it wasnt the words or smiles : u are so perfect with..
it was a pattern...
it was a sister pattern..
an othello pattern..
i know why u did what u did..
and levels to which : you went..
the planning of it..
and the 'will' : the cold cruel will to 'decide'
with your select close circle of family and frens..
all cackling : in pleasure, in anticipation of 'news'..
in a confirmation..
i belive u paid 'full amount' to 'win'..
frens, familia -either side : were smelling it.
anticipating it
1 of the learning which came from 'balance' of it..
you have will and logic..and absolute coldness about it..
the 'tears' and nature of dem ... makes it impossible with that eyes.
those gave u away..
i know u can take it..tears are for others..show of it..
you are cold : and you have a balance of tears and 'truth' of it all...
I dont want to know it..
this 'dark' is enough..
the balance of it all : darkness has to return 'home'
deer is a wolf now : it always was. 🫣
further thoughts...
i told u : hate for middle klass : is deep.
it is permanent.
it is the silence of it...
no1 : would understand what happened..
u would never be able to 'own' your choices..
if u do : that ll be the day : u change..
thats a fantasy of 3d world : when 'choices' live on you : depend on you : yet insult you.
yet : there wont be any words : what u sold out for 'fame'..was priceless = 0
a 0 : which cant be bought.