God and I : made a bet..
when 'all' this 'started'...
..i told god : i have 0 chance..
i knew these people : the frens and familia...all of dem..
but God : or my inner voice : told me to go on..
for reasons beyond my wise-ness..
i am always smug with me..
so for those reasons : and assured 'win'..
i kinda : agreed..
i think i made a promise of kinds..
i would not break..
and thats seems to be a 'given' thing from god..
and then : it was just 'time'..
a lil deal : was god would build me : each day..
in ways of impossible..
i dint really care..
i had work..
lots of it..
different kinds of it..
so we gave it 'time'..
few years : to undo decades of 'experiences'..
i dint know : the shape of it..
just the vector of it..
i had a lot of 'mis beliefs'...
lots of dem...
still when i thought : i have my ego : under control..
i was sooo rong..
I 'know' it now...
understand the journey to..
it is weird : it is assured and exciting..
yet : engaging in weird ways..
I have some real 3d 'tasks' to win..
some things to repair and hack..
i dont know how it ends or even starts..
for the purposes are many ...
yet the fate and destiny call it all..
you have to be ready..
coz the bet : is getting bigger.
and i seem to have 'random' on my side...
further thoughts...
my win : was a new identity : which was assured..
coz the 'cost' : was simply leaving what i earned or inherited..
from my solitude seeking ways of no guilt..
it made sense..
the only duty : was being a father ..
and i did 'time' that for now and future...
i am quite sure i dint live a perfect life...just a conscious 1...
thats the legacy : kid gets..and more..if we go on...and have to.