My 'learning' randomness...

01 Jun 2025

My 'learning' randomness...
and believing they are 'synchronicity' from God..
is not pleasant for normal peeps...

i hate to admit ...
i had or may still have..
lots of Near Death 'moments'..

people think NDEs are a physical event..
in early / young life : dey are...
coz the body is good..

in younger era...being a bit of teen...
did translate into a lot of street fighter 2..
north delhi : was lawless in 1990s..

my nde's came from 'beatings'..
dey were not considered : a good thing ..by my nuclear family father..
it was the 'lineage' : he wanted to be away from..

so i did took a lot of beatings..
chains, metals, and those knuckles..

u do get good at that stuff..
after you realize somethings..
the 1st punch guy : is the 1 who is 'scared'..

if you duck the 1st punch..
he wont 'stop'..
flurry would come : less power , more frequency..
a balance of 'center of mass' : would be shifted..
and thats where : even a small punch : would knock the 'anger' out..

u just need to get good at : working the sigma..

i got real good at it ...
my 'identity' was different across the few blocks..
i kept those 2 versions : absolutely different..

2 lives..
a student
an indian in a lawless new city..

In a really 'equal' fight..
u know : it is your link to 'self'..
the silent space..
which decides the 'winner'..

u get there : by getting absolutely knocked off few times..
coz : the fear of getting knocked off..the shame of it..
needs to go..
it is the fear which defeated me..

after that : life was pretty chill...

that was 'physical' part of it..
the man of it..alone..

coz my lineage and values were 'split'..
between past and future by congress..

i had to find a balance.

that was 'teenage' 😁

baldies : now we at 44...

all those mattered : passed on..

few that matter : young..years to go..

I have had enough of NDEs...

to know fear : and how fearful you are..

few years : to hide the incompetency..
blaming the failure on firing the failure..makes u a failure..

the brand : its 'aukaat' is trillion $$..
it is the 'santa' of tech which countries allow in their 'home'..

ur balding never deserved to make choices greater than your - aukaat!!

game time unkles..
play?

how do we make out : the chosen 1?