Dear MauLits2s...
i was trying to think of reasons...
why probably u wont be the person : who calls me 'delusional' 😝
It had been actually : a pattern...
i like acting silly : sometimes...never at work or social...
there is a context to the silliness : like these posts..
the real issue of being born in middle klass : is middle intellect...
or middle klass climbing : till higher cadre is 'permitted'
it is the cockroach jar effect..
people dont tell u : the cockroach jar : wants to climb with you..
and then : on you.
the thing about making things 'easy' is : people think its 'easy'
they assumed if it was told or sounded 'easy'..
they ll be 'easily' able to do it ..
based on 'past success'
My problem is not being lil younger..
but the small attention to big irrelevant things - seniors/baldies...
the age thing : is absolutely real...
it stings oldies : when 1 is able to achieve things : faster...
fluke : is the story they tell : to feel better..
and those stories : have to remain 'consistent'..
my losing of 'inheritence'
and 'career'
are quiet intertwined...
no 'proof'...just 'respected' and trusted peeps : using association...to paint me.
it has gone on for majority of my life..
..i really havent felt 'proud' for any professional achievements : yet..
so i dint really 'contest' of made a 'likey' game out of it..
i dint want to prove anything to any1
just : the things which made me feel : happy
alone kinds..
the things i can reflect back...and be happy about..
this take of life ..
is difficult to cultivate...it takes a lot of ignoreance..
to 1st not notice it..
but years, and increasing 'probability' of them..
keeps repeating..
none of this : was by coincidence..
few wars : are in family ..
for a career..
to claim a name
to justify a decision.
i am kind of glad : we have kept it quantum...
coz : the peeps who i am supposed to trust u with...
are the peeps who will hurt you and hunt you...
this 0 connect thing : was for 'protecting' new peeps..
and debugging old..
and old : is contagious and cheap.
i do hope u are feeling better : its a saturday with bitey sunlight (solar maxima)..
so take care..
do make them 'indoors' - marjaritas and those mary's and lits..
i have a job to do...
some wars to fight.
and most : to ignore...
tc...