i have held myself back..

i have held myself back..
for multiple reasons..

3d / capitalistic reasons - page 3 etx :
i needed a reason to thrive ..
as illogical as it sounds...
as a father : the 'indian' bar is quite low..
u can be failed poet and spend life guilting others for your incapabilities.

a house, few crores : and you can have the entire family ..
doing page 3 'chautha' and stuff doing in your 'inheritance/sorrow'

it is all acceptable : bar is pretty low in page 3 society of guilt.

or

i could have found the reason : to hack this hiramandi matrix around me..
all it required was higher iq and 'time'.

multiple monday maniacs, tuesaday twinkle : villians of all days...all sizes and all relations.
god had been quite grateful in blessing me with lessons..
weak lessons : which came via baldies in kukness..

that was ok, challenging and all..

but now when i ve rebuild myself as my grandfather would be proud of..
i kinda decided to understand nature of 'fear'..

i know it now...and hence all this 'new'

the thing about this new() : is its 'constraints'..
the N 386, their 60 iq programming, their 'majority' and 'noise/chaos'.

i needed to increase the chaos..
now i should make noise about it.

the constraint : is being 'logical'
experiance > age should show
baldies : their fate / destiny is 1 performance parameter..

other is the quality of 'religion'.
0s get 1 shot : each time..
it gets 'hotter' next time...

this is a reality of 0 life..
world would converge : to beat you down after taking 1stt punch..

thats what makes it exciting
thats what makes it 'flow'.

the mettle : shows itself.