My fear : was different...
generational curses : exist in all forms and kinds..
call them patterns or just values of family or just : ‘life’..
Not being able to support the son : in his crucial decisions...
is 1 of them..
Fatherless : is a weird thing...
more so : if 1 is the youngest male in family.
Certainly makes things challenging and demanding...big shoes to fill and fail..
the ‘circumstances’ created by google baldies and their ‘money’...
.....it became very clear : some peeps decided that my son would be better off fatherless...
i know ‘desperation’...i love its flavor..
they way it feels...just before u are about to give up..
mentally...and physically...
i ve been to this line ...multiple times..
fighting for different frens and familia...
it scares you...
but then .... after a while...it seems like a pattern..
For me...it was a weird realization...
......i was alone since i remember..
I knew 2 years of good life...
and then few snippets of it...
Alone ... started to mean reliability for me...dependence on self...
it is quite an enpowering feeling... to have made it on your own..
Google stint : was a reminder ... money doesnt really change people...
it ‘amplifies’ them.
Self work : is important. More important than money and ‘approval’.
Writing : became a way of making sure : my kid gets some good ‘legacy’..
why it all happened...and atleast an iota of his father...
but life if weird ... help comes from unexpected places..
I discovered the depth of my God...as he discovers depth of my character and faith..
from survival .... as a father...i got something more : a purpose and will.
we both ride on each other : there seems to be much at stake than me : or my 0 existence.
...Legacy of some sorts : know which makes the kids feel a bit ‘free’....
the ‘time’ : seems to be right this ‘time’. 🙂